The Misadventures of Edwin and Angie
by luvcsouat
Summary: Through the course of a few unfortunate mistakes made during one of Howard's extremely long parties, Peggy ends up stuck between a rock and a hard place. And the only one's that can save her are Angie and Jarvis.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hiya! So this is probably only gonna be two or three parts long. I hope you all like it, leave reviews (good or bad). Hopefully it's funny, I'm not much of a comedy writer but hey it's worth a shot. This first chapter is just sort of to get you started. So yeah, enjoy!**

"Oh dear!" Jarvis said turning around again to face forward and placing his hands on the wheel.

That couldn't be right. Once more Jarvis heard it, the soft snoring that came from the back seat. Jarvis pursed his lips together and shut his eyes, whispering a quick prayer before turning around again. She was still there, fast asleep.

"What do I do? What do I do?" Jarvis asked himself as he looked down at her, he turned to the front again and took a deep breath. "Don't panic, Edwin. You panic and bad things happen... I'll call miss Carter, she'll know what to do."

With his decision made Jarvis reached into the passenger seat to open the bad containing his walkie talkie. However when he opened the black bag it was not a bulky communication device that he found, rather millions of dollars. Millions of one dollar bills stacked together in stacks of fifty and held there with rubber bands.

"Oh dear!" Jarvis said with a gulp as he stared at the bag that was supposed to be with miss Carter. At that moment the young woman in the back of the car began to wake up but before she could ask what was going on they both turned at the sound of the gunshots off in the distance.

"Oh dear!"

...

"Lookie here, Stark decided to send one of his lady friends this time." One of the men said as Peggy entered the room.

Normally she would've been annoyed and corrected them on their mistake. However, today that statement was part of her cover, unfortunately. She kept telling herself that she shouldn't have even taken the job, she was supposed to be done with helping out Howard, but this case was a bit different.

Well, she said different. It was the same old deal, someone had stolen from Howard, but this was a little more personal. These particular men were friends ('were' being the key word in the sentence) but they had tricked a very drunk Howard from the night before into letting them into the armory. It was at that point that they tried to take one of his prototypes. Luckily for Howard they didn't get away with the entire thing, just the important part. And that of course was why Peggy was there, to get back the rest of the unfinished machine.

"Howard told me you have something for me." Peggy said in an American accent that she prided herself on, mostly because it was at least better than that of Mr Jarvis.

"Come on in, doll, we don't bite." One of the men said with a sickening grin, noticing how close Peggy was to the door.

Peggy feigned nervousness and took a small step closer, causing the group of men to erupt with laughter. She put on a fake shy smile before looking expectantly at the man she had determined was in charge of the little crew.

"Howard tell you what you got in that bag, sweetheart?" The man asked, blowing out a puff of smoke before flicking the cigarette onto the floor. Peggy shook her head, getting a few more chuckles out of the men.

"No, I didn't think he would." The man said, making a motion for her to come closer. "Howard must like you an awful lot, if he trust you with something like what you got there. Say? How'd a nice young thing like you get involved with Howard Stark?"

Before Peggy could answer the man went on as the two others got suspiciously closer to her.

"Because, I'm thinking... He either had someone pick you up from the middle of nowhere, promising you a lot of money. In which case, you and I and my boys here are all gonna leave very happy... or, you're a spy, and you're a lot less innocent under that sweet little facade you're putting on. In which case, things might get a little dirty." Once again he continued before Peggy could respond. The man laughed obnoxiously loud then pointed at the bag in her hand. "Open that up and take out what you find inside."

Peggy nodded. Keeping in her character she nervously fumbled around with the zipper then finally opened the bag. However what she found was not at all what anyone in the room had been expecting.

"Dammit!" She cursed under her breath.

...

"Mr Fancy? What's goin' on?" Angie Martinelli asked sitting up to look at Jarvis through the rear view mirror. She had just woken up only to hear the sound of guns shooting off.

"Hello miss Martinelli," Jarvis said trying to sound calm but failing miserably. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Very good. That's very good." Jarvis said taking a deep breath and exhaling with two words: "oh God."

"You gonna answer my question, Fancy?" Angie asked, rubbing her eyes and stretching a bit.

"Well, to put it plain and simple. You apparently feel asleep in the car after Howard's party. Peggy and I needed a car for what was supposed to be a quick job. We got into this car, you were in this car. Now we're in a dark alley waiting for miss Carter, who is supposed to be delivering this bag of money to a group of men. However, instead she is in there with nothing but two walkie talkie's and a few other things that never got emptied out of that damned bag!" Jarvis' voice got very high pitched at the end as he slammed his head down on the wheel. Angie wanted to be nervous but she couldn't help but laugh at his little break down.

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you swear before." Angie said, getting Jarvis to lift his head up.

"Did I swear?" Angie nodded her head and Jarvis sighed. "I'm sorry, sometimes that happens when I panic."

"It's fine... What are we gonna do about this bag of cash?"

"I have no idea. Normally that's where miss Carter comes in."

"Well then, maybe it's time you and English trade places." Angie said with a grin.

"How do you mean?"

"You and me are gonna be secret agents tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N alright! Chapter 2! Can I get a what what? No, jk, I don't do that. Anyway... thanks to all those who are reading, please favorite and follow and most of all review. It may end up longer than originally expected, but oh well. Now have fun and read!**

"Dammit!" Luckily for her Peggy had managed to whisper it quiet enough that none of the men heard her.

"You gonna do what your told?" The man asked impatiently, tapping his fingers on his desk.

Peggy has a decision to make. She could take out what was in the bag and just continue on with the act and hope for the best, or she could try to fight her way out of here. Peggy slyly glanced at the man to her left, he has at least two guns on him, three if she was right about the one she expected to be strapped to his calf. And she had nothing, so playing along was definitely her best option.

Peggy reached into the bag and took out the walkie talkie, staring forward to place it on the table. She looked at the man who have her a look that she couldn't quite name, but it was bad, she could tell that. He made a motion with his hand for her to continue so Peggy went on, taking out the other walkie, then a list of what appeared to be groceries that needed to be picked up, and finally what she could only assume you be Howard's dry cleaning.

"This some sort of joke, sweetheart?" The man asked.

"This.. this isn't what you were expecting?" Peggy asked, glancing over at the other man who was far too close for comfort.

"I think you know that's not what I asked for, just like I think you're not who you say you are."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." Peggy said calmly.

"How many guns have you counted so far?" He asked with complete sincerity. But Peggy continued to play dumb.

"Guns?! Why would you need guns? I thought I was just making a trade." Peggy said in her American accent, but he was no longer buying it. Well, he may have been buying the accent, but certainly not the character.

"I'm gonna count to three, then you're gonna cut the crap, got it?" He said reaching into his pocket.

Peggy was trying to decide how to fight her way out of this, or just keep the act going. But she had nothing, both the men beside her were armed, and it appeared the he was as well because suddenly he was looking down the barrel at her.

Peggy made a decision, a risky decision, but worth it. She would be pushing her luck with this, but if he responded the way she hoped then all would be well. The man lifted his gun so that it was facing the ceiling.

"One." He said, cocking the gun, Peggy stared at him with wide eyes. "Two," he placed his finger on the trigger. Peggy allowed her eyes to well up with tears. "Three." He shot three bullets into the ceiling and Peggy started screaming.

Yes, that was her plan, continue the act as though she were just some girl. So she screamed and cried, because if Angie had taught her anything, it was that men were extremely uncomfortable around crying women.

At it worked to her advantage because she a minute of her continuing on like this the leader pulled one of his men over. Peggy was too busy hiding her face in her hands, acting like she was crying, to over hear anything but soon enough the man started talking again.

"Miss... whoever you are. Stop, doing that..." He almost sounded exactly like Thompson had when Angie was crying. "Look, Dave here, he's gonna take you to the other room so you can calm down. I don't wanna hurt you, I just want my money. So we'll call Stark, get this whole miss understanding taken care of, you just calm down. Okay?"

"Okay." Peggy whispered, letting the other man lead her out of the room.

...

"So, what's your plan?" Jarvis asked, looking back at Angie.

"I don't have a plan! You're supposed to come up with the plan."

"I don't come up with the plans, miss Carter does!" Jarvis objected.

"I told you, you two are switching places." Angie said but she could tell Jarvis was having trouble with that concept, so with a heavy sigh she went on. "Just try to think like you're Peggy."

"Alright." Jarvis said begrudgingly, he went silent for a moment and he bit his lip.

"Are you thinking like Peggy?" Angie asked after only a few seconds.

"I'm trying! I'll have you know miss Martinelli it is very hard to think like miss Carter, and I don't have much practice."

"Clearly..." Angie muttered, ignoring the look Jarvis gave her.

"Got it!" Jarvis finally exclaimed. "We'll take the bag to miss Carter, then she can give it to the men and we'll leave with what we came for."

Angie stared at him with disappointment. It was sad really, he looked so thrilled when he presented the idea, but Angie knew that it was no good. Clearly Jarvis was worse at this whole spy thing than she thought. Angie couldn't imagine how much of a hindrance Jarvis must be in a daily basis, Peggy really must've been pulling all the weight. But now was not the time to be pitying Peggy, she needed to come up with something better, and tell Jarvis his idea was awful without hurting his feelings.

"That idea sure sounds swell, Fancy, but I think maybe something else would work better." Angie said, hoping he would just go along with what she had in mind.

"Like what?" Jarvis asked, not seeing any flaw in his plan.

"Well, we could sneak in there and take out one of the men. Then you change into the guys clothes, so that they'll think you're one of them. Once you're in you go find Peggy and let her loose so that she can go get the bag. Then she comes back, gives them the money, and we leave with what we came for." Angie explained.

"That's my plan, only extremely complicated... And far more dangerous." Jarvis said wearily. He was beginning to question whether or not miss Martinelli completely understood what their objective was here.

"My dear, simple, Mr Fancy," Angie began in a sympathetic tone, "where you see complicated danger, I see exciting pizzazz!" While saying this

Angie did little jazz hands that made Jarvis fight the urge to roll his eyes. Instead he sneakily let out a sigh and took a moment to think. How was he going to explain the way things worked to her?

"Miss Martinelli, I'm sure you've seen many extravagant films and plays about the excitement of espionage. And I don't doubt that miss Carter has told you plenty about her unbelievable adventures. However, this is not one of those times, unlike in the past there will be no explosions or fights." Jarvis explained calmly, but he could tell Angie wasn't buying it when she gave him a skeptical look.

"You _did_ hear the gun shots, right?"

Jarvis' eyes widened, he had almost forgot, which was more of a statement on the change in his job. Every since these adventures with miss Carter he had almost become used to the sound of guns and explosions, even more than he had during the war. But of course when he did remember he did what only Jarvis would think to do. He panicked. And as per usual, when panicking, Jarvis made a bad decision.

Without a second thought, he opened his door and grabbed the bag from the passenger seat. Then turned to Angie and said, "alright, we'll do this your way."

...

Peggy sat in a small room with the man that was apparently called Dave. She had stopped her fake crying but continued to act confused and nervous while simultaneously planning her escape. Things would be much simpler this way, with just one man to fight. Peggy wasn't sure how yet, but her plan was to knock him out and take the weapons he was carrying then make her way out of the building. Howard would simply have to get his things some other time.

Well, that _was_ her plan, until things changed. First there was the annoyed talking of the leader, who probably didn't get a hold of Howard, that came from the next room over. Then there was the running down the hallway, the rushed whispers and finally the door opening.

"Being the girl back in, the boss wants to see her." The man that came in order to Dave.

Dave instantly got up and pulled Peggy back into the room, where there were now four men instead of the previous three.

"We couldn't get your friend Stark on the phone." The boss said, "however, we do have someone talking to your girl down stairs." Peggy was actually confused now, but the man continued speaking before she could voice her confusion. "If you don't want me to send down orders to kill her then you better start talkin."

At first she thought perhaps they were bluffing, because that seemed most obvious, after all, she didn't know any girl. But she could tell by their faces that they were serious, which meant there was someone down there, who's life, apparently, was in Peggy's hands. But it wasn't until she heard that oh so familiar voice come up from the floor below that Peggy made her decision.

"I'm not just some girl Howard found." Peggy said in her perfect English accent, all the while thinking of a list of people to kill once this was over, starting with Howard and ending with Angie.


End file.
